6 Red Flags - Friendship Edition

We’ve all heard of looking out for red flags when we’re dating right? Well, friendships are no different. After all, friendships are arguably a more constant relationship in our lives compared to romantic relationships. This is why we should try to be emotionally aware of which friendships positively add onto our lives and which ones bring us down.

I am a big believer in protecting/creating a positive environment for ourselves where we can thrive and the people we choose to surround ourselves with play a big part in this. Your time and energy are valuable and you have the power to decide who is present in your life and who isn't. With this in mind here are 6 red flags to keep an eye out for when it comes to identifying toxic friendships.

1. They make you feel insecure

I feel like this one is fairly self explanatory, never the less it deserves to be mentioned. If you find that your friend often points out what they don’t like about you or subtly makes negative comments to bring you down, it's a red flags. I want you to know that you have the ability to set boundaries and no one has the power to make you feel a certain way unless you let them.

Keep in mind hurtful comments are not a reflection of you, rather of reflection of the person giving them and are often said out of jealousy or a personal struggle they are going through themselves.

2. You Feel Like You Can’t Be Yourself

Red flag number two, if you feel like you can’t truly be your unique beautiful self around them then they are not the people for you (their loss). If you find yourself having to dim your own light to fit in or feel accepted, why would you want to be there anyways? You should be surrounded by people who love and accept your quirks, who uplift you, who understand that you are your own person

3. You Feel Like You Have To Try Hard To Be Liked

This one ties into red flag number two, if you are having to change yourself in any way to be accepted or liked, that’s a sign you need to step away. You should never have to “try” to be liked by your friends, in fact it’s the exact opposite ! They should be the people you go to in order to unwind and let loose without fear of being judged.

It’s important to note that of course you won’t be everyones cup of tea, and that’s ok. It is not your job to try to mold yourself in to someone else’s idea of an ideal person, be yourself and you will find your tribe.

4. They Only Reach Out When It’s Convenient

You know what I’m talking about, they are never around when you need them to be but always except you to be there for them when they need something. There are two versions that I witnessed growing up, those who come to you when they emotionally need you and are never there when you need them. And those you use you when it is socially convenient for them to do so and leave you hanging when they have a “better” offer.

5. They Drain You

Keep an eye out for those energy vampires, anyone who leaves you feeling emotionally and physically drained. If you frequently find yourself surrounded by someone who is always negative or anyone who relies too heavily on you for happiness/validation, it’s a red flag.

6. They Make You Feel Guilty For Saying No

I want you to learn how to set healthy boundaries and not feel bad or guilty for putting yourself first. You should never feel bad for saying no. This doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad friend and you shouldn’t give anyone the power to make you feel like a bad person for not wanting to do something.